It’s the last set of dates on the US Virgin Islands and the guys are going on final dates with girls who are mom’s choice.
First Date: Jojo and his MOM, Mrs. B
Oh my God, watching Jojo go on a “date” with his mom makes me want to throw up. Jesus CHRIST!!! This woman is nuts. Why would you talk about your son using words like “gorgeous”, “great body” and “SEXY”?!?!?!?! However, I was super-satisfied by the hilarious juxtaposition of Mindy swimming gracefully through the water and then Mrs. B paddling around like a hippo. I’m also relieved by Jojo’s reaction to the date: UTTER DISGUST.
Second Date: Rob and Lauren
Rob is on the date with Lauren, and he looks bored/confused sitting there listening to her talk about her feelings. Since her words have no effect on him, she grabs him and kisses him. Now it’s all good!!! God. Jesus. I’m glad to see that Lauren, one of the girls with small “boobies”, is left. But Rob admits that he still went to bed and woke up thinking about Camilla.
Third Date: Michael and Erica
Michael and Erica go on a yacht. I have to say that Erica’s outfits are really flattering, yet still cute/conservative. She’s wearing a pretty purple dress with horizontal stripes. She and Michael have a romantic and fun time, but she still can’t bring herself to tell Michael about her “modeling” aka being Penthouse Pet of the Year. He even kisses her differently than Meghan – not swallowing her face. But you can just see it in Erica’s eyes: this secret is haunting the heck outta her! Then we see a really weird horror-movie style montage of everything that’s happened since Erica has been here. God, these producers are good!
For the second part of their date, Erica walks in, sits down and immediately tells Michael that she is the Penthouse Pet of the Year. He’s smiling for about half a minute. And then he’s like “Whoops” and starts to look disturbed. He tells the cameras “I don’t know”. What he can’t say is: “OK, I’m not picking her, but if I met her in a bar I’d definitely sleep with her. Do you guys have her number? Can I get her number?” The awesome thing is that when Erica tells Lorraine, Lorraine says that she doesn’t feel differently about her – cooooooool!!! That’s beautiful!!! She sums it up though: “The irony of it all….”
Talks with Mom:
Esther is getting a little Mrs. B with Rob dating Camilla, but she’s got more tact so her argument is a tad bit more about culture than race. Lorraine is still supporting Erica even though she realizes how crazy it is that she had Michael eliminate a Playboy model to end up with a Penthouse Pet. Mrs. B is breaking down, telling Jojo that Mindy’s not good enough for him. Really? A smiley kindergarten teacher from the South? Really?
Now we’re at the elimination, where the guys have to choose a girl to go with him on the yacht. Rob picks LAUREN – WTF??? You can really tell that Rob knows he made the wrong decision in letting Camilla go when they say good bye to each other. Obviously he sold his soul in choosing Lauren. He stood up for himself every step of the way, and I would think that if any guy could hold his own, it would have been him. Whatever. WIMP.
Michael has to choose between Amanda and Erica…and I can’t believe Michael chose Amanda!!! Ughhhh she’s annoying and I don’t think he has feelings for her! Whatever.
Jojo has to choose between Mindy and his MOM. GROSS!!! Walk away from the womb. Before he can say anything, Mindy breaks down and says that she has strong feelings for him and that her parents raised her right, but she can’t be with Jojo because Mrs. B’s reins are too tight. After this speech, Jojo picks her!!! Yaaay!!! Jojo tells her that this is not even about standing up to his mom anymore – he just wants to give it a try with Mindy. YES, boy! This is what normal people do: make decisions based on their own thoughs and feelings. Mrs. B walks away and screams at the crew that she’s not doing any interviews.
All the couples were offered 3 more days in paradise.
Rob left the island early – and alone.
Mrs. B was offered counseling – and declined.
Erica’s Penthouse contract expired and she went to Florida to visit Lorraine. Lorraine even gave her a friendship bracelet before they left the island – awwww!
This show is ridiculous, but it’s a train wreck you just can’t turn away from! I can’t wait to see what insane mothers, wimpy dudes and skanky models next season brings!!!