So I went to Starbucks on 75th St & 1st Ave this morning, and they were handing out yellow receipts (printed on slightly more durable paper than usual), which entitled recipients to come back anytime after 2pm that same day and “only” pay $2 for ANY grande iced drink.
THOSE motherfuckers.
Apparently, this is not the first time they have pulled these shenanigans.
Bernie goes to jail, the market is buoyant as a bag of toe nail clippers, and we are lured into buying more overpriced drinks with cheap tricks.
But hey, I’ll take it!
After grilling the baristas pretty thoroughly, my coworkers and I surmised that this $2 summer promotion is going on everyday for a month (at least in New York City!). Odd that they started on June 30, 2009. However, they’ll be continuing all the way through to the end of July – YIPPEE!!! And here I was thinking I was going to have to forgo the sweet, artificial, love handle nurturing nectar of an iced upside down caramel macchiato with whipped cream this summer.
Nono, my morning tall iced Pike roast is going to subsidize the afternoon delight of my buttery, milky weakness.
I guess if you REALLY wanted to get crazy with it, you’d order the cheapest iced drink possible in the morning (iced espresso….which is…totally weird?) and a version of the most expensive iced drink possible in the afternoon (13 shot soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mocha with extra white mocha and caramel) – assuming they allow extra shots with this deal. Alternatively, you could just have them blend a muffin and some crack into your frappuccino.
And by the way, the $2 is + tax, meaning $2.17 for every afternoon drink. It’s still about half off if you get an average $4 drink, but for Starbucks, that’s $2.17 that they wouldn’t have gotten from you x 30 days x a lot of people + a friend who might tag along while you’re going out for your second drink of the day + any extra little snacks you might feel like buying once you’re in their Nora Jones-playing clutches.
This month-long situation will probably result in a lot of iced coffee (or tea) that you and I don’t need to be drinking, but it’s nice to feel like you’re getting a deal every once in a while – even if it does make you fat and jittery.
That stuff’ll rot ya teeth out!! Maybe I’m just saying that because I just visted the dentist and learned that my gums are rotting from the inside and I may require surgery if I don’t floss every day for the rest of my life.