That’s right, Take You Home is gonna be on Atom TV!
Air Date: Thurs Morning, Sept 16 at 3am (EST)
DVR it, night owls!
That’s right, Take You Home is gonna be on Atom TV!
Air Date: Thurs Morning, Sept 16 at 3am (EST)
DVR it, night owls!
We’re 3, 4 episodes into the new season of Doctor Who in the US, and it’s really grown on me! Kooky Matt Smith (The Doctor) and cute/hot Karen Gillan (Amy Pond) are two of the most watchable people I’ve ever had the pleasure of traipsing through time with – and they really have great chemistry!
I’m not digging the new opening credits as much (or the new logo), but these two combined make up for David Tennant leaving. Plus, there hasn’t been a dud of a story yet – London traveling through space on the back of a Star Whale, fighting Daleks w/ Churchill, vampire/fish aliens in 16th century Venice and Weeping Angels in space!!!! I can’t wait to see what’s next – more snogging, I hope!
Ok, it’s no secret I love my TV shows. Here are the ones I miss the most – each in their own way:
Ugly Betty: The Show I’ll Miss Forever
I miss this show with all my might. We can be glad it left after a good short run, but that means it not being anywhere but in the past. *sigh*
Yes, it was sagging in the ratings and relegated to the Friday night Arctic ice floe time slot, but it was still effing good!!! Full disclosure: I cried during the second-to-last episode when Hilda got married and Justin came out. (Like a baby.) A month after it’s left the airwaves, I am still missing UB: Missing the fiercest bitch on TV in years (Vanessa Williams), missing the dramedy mixed with high fashion, and missing all the brightbright personalities. Plus, once a week, this show helped me say “hi” and gently stroke the ugly duckling complex that has followed me all through life. I related to this schizz.
And it was the wellspring of one of my favorite characters in TV history: MarkandAmanda. No, not Mamanda or Ark – MarkandAmanda. Together forever – but always individuals. If anyone should deserve a spinoff, it’s these two! It’d be like “Joey” + “Will and Grace”. C’mon, ABC!!!! And I’m happy to say that Ugly Betty was one of the few shows that I actually enjoyed doing background on – freezing to death on a rooftop wearing D&G for 12 hours is probably the closest I’ll ever understand what it’s like to have hate sex.
Mad Men/Caprica: The Shows I’ll Miss…Until They Come Back!
Is there anything worse than your favorite shows being on weird mid-season schedules/hiatus?!
OK, there are worse things. But I sure do miss these ladies…. Va. VA….
Gossip Girl: The Show I Miss Even Though It’s Still On TV Because It Is Totally Unwatchable
This show was dead to me as soon as I heard “college”. And then it became a zombie when I heard “threesome”. And then it became dead zombie when I heard “Will Baldwin”.
Glee: The Show I Just Completely Missed the Boat On!
WTF is the appeal of this show? OK, I know what ALL the appeal is. Great music, great stories, great performances! I should LOVE this show: I’m a music nut, was an outcast in school, and am a huge Ryan Murphy fan (I even worked with him on a movie recently). I think all the actors are PHENOMENAL, from the kooky-adorable Jayma Mays to the hysterical Jane Lynch to the Broadway hottie Matthew Morrison! I even DVRed the pilot when it premiered with American Idol a year ago to fast track this show into my veins! SO WHY CAN’T I LIKE IT?! Trust me, I’ve tried. Alas, it’s like my dad and the Internet. I want to get it, but I just can’t. I am the only person I know who doesn’t like this show, which is a sad and lonely feeling.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Show I Miss But Don’t Have To!
I loved this show growing up, and now, thanks to both Sci-Fi and BBC America (huh?!) I can still miss it while watching it. Love that creepy Riker smile!
Look, we even had the same photo taken in the mid-90s!!!:
Look at us! Virtually twins posing in front of “Blue Dappled Acid Wash Background #2″! And I still bask in the knowledge that my childhood best friend’s mom’s ex-husband’s cousin is Brent Spiner (and fewer than six degrees – hot damn!).
Sex and the City: The Show I Wish I Could Miss But Can’t Because It Won’t Fucking Stop With the Movies!!!!
STOP IT!!!! Just STOP IT! I have ex-boyfriends that stay outta my life better than you…ughhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
So this week’s Caprica was MUCH better in the Sister Clarice department!!! Check it:
1/ I just loved watching that woman splayed out, high as shit on a fainting couch at the “hookah” bar. (Bonus points if someone finds a link to this photo and posts it in the Comments section!)
2/ I also loved how she was taking shots of “Scorpion Ambrosia” with the dead girl’s mom ( looks like Midori, but does like Tequila!).
3/ I LOVED how she and Amanda Graystone got really close in that “our boobies are touching” sort of way. This woman brings out the lech in me.
In this episode, I also really started liking the Asian guy!
The actor, Hiro Kanagawa, is not just the only Asian dude on the show – he’s also probably the only native Vancouver-ite (-ian?). Oh, Canada. Hiro was also on Smallville and starred as the title character in the quirky short film, Hiro:
Anyway, his Cyrus Xander character is finally coming off as more of the voice of reason than the business-minded harpy. However, I’m kind of perplexed that the Battlestar Wiki describes him as Daniel Graystone’s ASSISTANT?! In this episode, Daniel clearly calls Cyrus “Doctor” as well – and it seems more like he’s the President/COO to Daniel’s CEO. He’s not getting anyone coffee, and acts as the liaison between Daniel and the board. Am I reading too much into this?! Do I need to edit that Wiki at the risk of being attacked by harder core BSG fans?
And although I loved the Zoe/nerdy research assistant plot line a couple weeks ago, it is just annoying me to tears at the point. First of all, no one believes you’re a nerd when you look like an Abercrombie & Fitch model. Secondly, Avatar Zoe (aka Zoebot) “disguising” herself with glasses is beyond cliche. Even being self-deprecating about it is cliche. Audrey Hepburn did it! Rachel Leigh Cook really shouldn’t have! Everyone else is just pushing the button on her own dunk tank! In this case, Lisa Loeb called and wants her mid-90s interpretation of mid-50s vintage back. Judge:
But in things I love, there are the two new villains: Tomas Vergis and Barnabas. I am stoked because Barnabas is played by none other than….James Marsters!!!
Freakin’ SPIKE from that other great fantasy TV series, BTVS:
Before all this Twilight/Vampire Diaries/America’s Next Top Vampire BULL CRAP, there was Buffy. Teenagers and vampires done RIGHT! Sexy, not twee!
Even Jim Carrey couldn’t handle that genre:
Anyway, I digress! Here is James Marsters again, doing some Frollo stuff to himself:
Only he could play someone named Barnabas. And wear eyeliner.
Except, of course, this guy:
This past week’s Caprica was one of my favorites so far! It definitely had the most action, and I loved that we got to see more of the v-world than just the sweaty nightclub. In a little nod to all sort of things pop culture, the dirtier virtual version of Caprica was called “New Cap City”.
And after surviving a game of Russian Roulette, the avatar of Tamara Adams was transformed into a hot 1920s-style gun-toting chick in fur and red lipstick, ending her streak as the most annoying character on the show thus far. Her new found toughness even downplayed the actress’ slightly off-kilter incisors.
The only thing I missed from this episode was the busty nun in a group marriage. She and her boobies need to be in every episode – just like the gay assassin needs to be shirtless in every episode.
If you missed this or any other Caprica episodes, you can watch them online. The whole thing! Granted, the lusciousness of the series is best served on a full screen television, but it’s still great to have all the episodes at your fingertips. And you can have pictures of the busty nun and shirtless gay assassin open next to the video player too! This series has definitely got me hooked so far! Not to mention I find Caprica’s avatars way more engaging than those other ones.
SyFy (why the po-mo twee re-spelling?!) has redeemed itself from being Lifetime for nerdy men with the new series Caprica. Caprica stands out in a sea of cruddy TV movies (Flu Bird Horror, Bone Eater – really?!), but it’s not just the new series from the Battlestar Galactica guys. It’s a fucking AWESOME drama with scifi elements! The creators described the show as “television’s first science fiction family saga”. At first, this description made me want to break out in hives from skepticism, but when you’ve got pre-apocalyptic technology and a cast that looks like they could also be on Gossip Girl, that description is pretty dead on.
So here are the reasons to watch Caprica (numbered, but no particular order):
1. The series is perfectly cast. PERFECTLY.
Eric Stoltz as a prickly God-playing scientist, Paula Malcolmson as his world-weary but hot but cold but smart but superemotional wife, PATTON OSWALT as an other dimension Jay Leno-style late night talk show host (more about this later), Esai Morales as the lawyer straddling moral and cultural boundaries, and Alessandra Torresani as the rebellious daughter – SLASH – ROBOT (more about her later too)!!!
2. Quirky-as-hell characters with mash-up personalities that would never exist in the real world.
A sexy, shirtless, tattooed, knife wielding GAY mob assassin?! An adorable little grandma who cooks all the time and is into murder revenge plots?! A busty nun in a group marriage?! Yes, all these characters exist in the Caprica universe and are believable as hell.
3. GROUP MARRIAGE?!
4. PATTON OSWALT is on it!!!
Was I the only one simply not satisfied by his chubby best friend role on “King of Queens” or his voice come out of Ratatouille’s adorable snout? Finally, Patton – who is an AMAZING stand-up – has a role that plays somewhat to his strengths. Even though his real style and material is far from punchy mainstream, he plays the role of the Baxter Sarno (Caprican Johnny Carson) with authenticity – and a little wink. MORE MORE MORE!! This role makes me wonder why he couldn’t be on real late night.
5. The Mom and Dad are, like, always having sex!
Haha, WHAT?! Eric Stoltz and Paula Malcolmson might be middle aged and grieving over their dead daughter, but they’ve always somehow got the time to bust out a nooner. SEX! Who doesn’t love watching TV characters having sex! Especially if it’s inter-cut with clips of the shirtless gay mob assassin killing a dirty politician. This show is HAWT!
6. An opening sequence that looks like Harry Potter gone Lady Gaga.
It’s a visually stunning opening sequence – otherworldly and a little artsy. I don’t scramble for the DVR to fast forward. That’s how you know that shit is effective.
7. Alessandra Torresani has IT.
The 22-year-old actress is obviously gorgeous, but she also just HOLDS the camera to her with that indescribable X-factor/charisma (much like Christina Hendricks on Mad Men). Your eyes just go to her and you WANT to watch. Plus, Zoe Graystone ain’t no easy role! She plays an avatar of herself that was then put into a robot body. There are some really cool shots of the huge killing machine robot doing certain moves that cut to Zoe doing the same moves as the robot. In a recent episode, the robot/Zoe danced with a nerdy lab technician that is falling in love with robot/Zoe.
Too bad the actress isn’t so polished in real life.
8. Crazy Holoband world.
One of Dr. Graystone’s (Eric Stoltz) inventions is the Holoband, which enables people to travel to a virtual reality. All sorts of crazy shizz goes on over there, like the underground club where there is tons of sex, dancing and virgin sacrifices. The Sims on steroids for sure.
9. Easter Eggs for Battlestar Galactica fans.
I’ve seen Battlestar Galactica (the series for which Caprica is the prequel), but could never really get into it. However, I appreciate that the writers and producers tied in elements from the other series for fans so they have more back story. The biggest thing is that the son of Joseph Adama (Esai Morales) is William Adama, who grows up to be the commander of Battlestar Galactica (EDWARD JAMES ALMOS). The kid who plays William is extremely smooth skinned – pock mark-justifying plot line to show up at some point?
10. Politically/socially driven…blablabla FRAK…beautifully shot.
Apparently all the things that made Battlestar Galactica great. The series is set off by an act of terrorism and deals with all the politics of a huge tech corporation, as well as the dirty mob-infiltrated justice system and racism. The only thing that bothered me was that the young terrorist (Zoe’s b/f) was a brown-ish kid. I’m sure that was a conscious decision, but…c’mon. As with every Syfy production, they find ways to make Vancouver look absolutely gorgeous, dark and futuristic. There are lots of cool artsy angles, and the Graystones live in a SEXY lakefront house. And everyone is using my favorite pseud-curse word.
BONUS REASON: CUTE ROBOT ALERT!!
That cute little guy on the bottom right corner is the hilariously named Serge, the robot butler who scoots around catering to the Graystones’ every need. He even screens visitors before giving them permission to enter (like VAMPIRES!). Serge is 100% loveable and right in line to inherit the thrones held by “Robot” from Lost in Space and C-3PO from Star Wars.
Not to be confused with SERGIO:
My dear Tommy went back home to Staten Island for the weekend, and I was left to my own devices.
Stayed home to nurse the contrails of my never-ending flu from last weekend. I ended up drinking about six servings of miso soup, while watching the following: five hours of Bravo (split between Real Housewives of Atlanta and Las Vegas Taxi Cab Confessions), an episode of Amazing Wedding Cakes, an episode of Bridezillas, Gwyneth Paltrow’s View from the Top, and a horrible Lifetime movie about a Mormon love quadrilateral starring Jennie Garth called A Loss of Innocence.
So basically, I drank two gallons of salt water and had estrogen pumped through the television, into my eyeballs. It was horrible. I might as well have cut myself or eaten a quart of Rocky Road Ice Cream while dressing up my Barbie doll collection. I literally watched TV for 9 hours. It started at 7pm and lasted until 4am. WHAT KIND OF FREAK AM I?!?!
Went to brunch with Adina in the East Village, wandered around Urban Outfitters, and picked up my books on reserve from Greenpoint Library. And you know what? It turns out there’s another Jennifer Kwok who goes to my branch! I know this because I certainly did not order a Japanese manga written in Japanese with no pictures in it (seriously, what is that? )! Then I went home and started reading my actual somehow-in-my-mind-less-dorkier book choice, The Golden Compass. Then, realizing that I probably shouldn’t have ANY more miso for the rest of my life because I had consumed about 12,000 grams of sodium the night before, I decided to order in a Papacitos fish burrito.
I ate this while watching Kubrick’s Lolita and marveling at the great acting – Peter Sellers rocks it in this movie (and James Mason and Shelly Winters are no schlubs either). After the movie, I fulfilled my weeklong craving for Haagen Daaz and bought a pint of Bailey’s flavored ice cream at my local pseudo-gourmet grocery market. I went to bed EARLY – like 9pm, after Friday night’s fiasco.
Woke up relatively early after 12 hours’ sleep and started going through emails. I grabbed a shower, ran some errands at Rite Aid (where they already have Halloween stuff up, BTW – horrifying!!!!) and bought a couple donuts and coffee from Peter Pan’s, which is now infamous for its Donut Ice Cream Sandwiches. Got back home and edited/practiced my verse for “Trapped in a Dungeon”, a guest-rap-laden song by my buddy Soce, The Elemental Wizard. Then I wrote and practiced my rap verse of a song we’re doing together, “Ride the Bus”, which will be released as a B-side to my single (also produced by and featuring Soce), “Date an Asian”.
After all that musical mayhem, I made some No Pudge Brownies and cleaned the house before my Tommy came home (it’s all the Mad Men watching that’s got me acting like robo-live-in-girlfriend).
Actually, the brownies were for my former boss, who is letting us stay at her house during our vacation, and Soce, who is hard at work producing all these awesome tracks! I headed over to Manhattan (going from the G to the 7 because there is no service to Manhattan from 23-Ely Ave for the fourth weekend in a row) and met with my former boss to grab keys, directions, etc. Then I headed downtown to record my rhymes with Soce.
Continuing with the self abuse, I came home not having eaten any dinner – BUT buying a goddamn Van Leeuwen ice cream while waiting for the bus on Bedford Ave. WHY?!?!?!?! Ugh, that ice cream is so good it’s hard for me to eat other ice cream now…. It didn’t melt once while I was waiting 15 minutes for that bus – not a square millimeter of it. It’s perfect!!!!
Finally, I got home and found my dear Tommy there, uploading a ton of pictures of his weekend at home, along with adorable 10 second videos of his dog running around and drinking water – videos that, BTW, would probably get more YouTube hits than all my videos combined!
It was nice to be kind of left alone this weekend, but between the miso/ice cream diet and 9-hour lady film festival, I really don’t think I’d last very long. However, it was superfun to indulge, and I was glad to channel my inner rap star and try a new outlet for my creativity.
And now, for whatever reason, I can’t seem to go to bed just yet. But…a girl has to try.
Gossip Girl is like Perez Hilton. That bitch is everywhere, and she just don’t quit.
What a great season finale!!! It was especially great compared to that crap-fest of last week’s flashback episode. Anyway, it was gratifying to see so much “resolved” within the hour – of course, only to have it unraveled again next season.
Stuff I loved:
LOVE – Wrapping up the stupid Ponzi scheme subplot quickly with a brief phone call from Regina. No unnecessary bull crap. Love.
LOVE – Serena’s stupid ass and Carter Basin’s stupid ass together. Great! I love it. Keeps them quarantined from other human beings for awhile. LOVE.
LOVE – They bring back the Dan/Serena/Eric/Jenny half-bro plot line by finally freakin’ showing the guy. Love.
Stuff that was NOT OK!!!
Not OK – Lily and Rufus tokin’? Weird. Not O.K.
Not OK – Georgina coming back next season. AUGHGHGHGHGHGH!!! Nothing makes me angrier than seeing Michelle Trachtenburg’s name in the credits. Blood pressure rising. NOT OKAY!!!
Not OK – EVERYONE going to NYU?! NOOOOOT OK.
This season was definitely hit or miss, but the overall Gossip Girl essence was maintained: drama, fashion, humor, side boob. I’m glad that the show is continuing on, but is college gonna make it better (Gilmore Girls), mediocre (Beverly Hills, 90210), weirder (Boy Meets World) or completely fucking ridiculous (Saved By the Bell)?
All I can say is, I want the fashion to keep going, but you can’t possibly have me believe that these guys are gonna run from class to class in Lincoln Town Cars and stilettos…right? I mean, what NYU student always dresses up to go to class? OK, maybe Korean girls, but come on!!! Can we get Blair some pants?
Also, I am dreading this BS that they are gonna live in the dorms – especially with Regina there. WHERE will Blair put her clothes! At least have her and Serena share an outrageously large duplex in the West Village (after she somehow gets herself kicked out of Brown and transfers to NYU due to some shenanigans). I also can’t wait for how lame they’re going to make college parties look.
Well, what the future holds we won’t know for another 3 months, but for now, let us bask once again in the kiss heard around the world:AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! No matter WHAT happens, we’ll always have this moment! ALWAYS! This happened!
Question of the week:
What do you look forward to next season?
OK, so this week we had a terrible situation where the new flashback/door pilot, “Valley Girls” was as seamlessly integrated into the regular Gossip Girl as B&T crowds in Williamsburg. (You can shop at H&M, you can shop at Forever 21, but we draw the line at STRAWBERRY.)
And speaking of Williamsburg, I live near Hipsterville, USA and basically everyone I see looks like this:
An Olsen Twin and a quirky video artist with second hand boots. See your outfits next month at Beacon’s Closet!
So we had a super rad time watching the show Monday night, though! Christina was back in town. Amelia and I wore our Team Blair shirts, and EVERYONE wore headbands – including Tom and our friend Samantha’s 19 month old, Olivia, who squealed with delight anytime we had a group reaction to anything on the show This show is cross-generational.
And “To the Impala!”? GREAT. Amazing. But that’s all you’re good for, “Valley Girls”. That and a montage of Brittany Snow (who can’t act) trying on as many camel toe-enabling outfits as she can. It’s like the opening sequence of the “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” movie. Or “Clueless”. Or the original “Valley Girl” movie. All movies that did it better – and when Melissa Joan Hart has you beat, it’s time to give up!
Unfortch, this trip to La La Land left SO MANY things unresolved:
-HELLO, Georgina/Poppy Lifton situation
-Dan going to Yale? Maybe now’s the time to take that full scholarship to Smith. -Not that we care, but Serena and Gabe
-Eric quota unfulfilled
-Need more Vitamin Water references
-CHUCK AND BLAIRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
I can’t believe that the season is over, but I must say that although I <3 this show forever and ever, it so went downhill during the second half of the season. WTF?! Ughhh, new writers. There was that whole 2 month gap, and then THIS crap?! I can’t deal – let’s hope for a better season three.
After watching this episode, we played the GG “Never Have I Ever” Game, which Amelia brought over:
Let me tell you, it was great! And we weren’t even drunk…. Tom even joined the fun with us girls and invented his own acronym: OMGWAIGR (Oh my God, WHAT am I gonna roll?!). It takes a real man.
This episode got off to a slooow start. It took about 20 minutes before I even started writing anything down, ugh. Nothing of importance ever happens when they play that “mischievous” pizzacato violin music….
Favorite things about this episode:
This kids solving crimes was SOOO “The Boxcar Children”!
The writers wants us to believe that Georgina is the same size as Blair! Not with those big bones….
“Are you a Carrie? I’m a Charlotte!” Hahaha.
I loved this confrontation between Chuck and Blair at the hotel bar. How does Leighton Meester get the tear-perfect take? Whatever, it ain’t over.
I was reminded to download Kirk Cameron movies, like this sci-fi fantasy drama set in Spain: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190524/
Worst things about this episode:
How come all these Dove Fresh “Real NYC Stories Revealed” feature girls who work in fashion? UGHHHH!
Lily is nuts, dude! Giving her man money behind his back, arresting her own daughter and wearing a prom up do in the daytime?!
Poppy and Georgina were at Shi in Long Island City for the last scene! I think it’s great that GG shoots a LOT in LIC (including CommuniTea cafe in the past), but this one was super obvious. We know who to blame as mainstream America continues to think that Queens is like Eddie Murphy’s “Coming to America”.
Who has club bathroom lighting for their mug shot? Did Lily have them build a photo studio and hire Gilles Bensimon to take the picture too?!
Georgina flip flops. UGHHH, who is this pair of Havaianas?! If you’re gonna Stepford it out, don’t bait ‘n switch after one episode!
I’m excited to see the 80s flashbacks next week of Lily ROSE. However, I don’t know if the new series will really have legs. We’ll see!
Question of the Week:
How did Rufus fubar his proposal to Lily:
a) He didn’t bring matches.
b) It was during the middle of the day
c) Who eats ribs and scallops in the middle of the day?!
d) ______________________________ (write your own)