Gossip Girl: Ding Dong, The Bart is Dead!

Yeahhhh, more Wallace Shawn!!! “…in the midst of death, we are in life!” Wow…
EVERYONE loves this guy!

And finally, a Jew on the UES! Plus, the marriage to Eleanor only seals his future guest stardom – yeehaw!!!

Like a small babe: Is Wallace Shawn the real-life Benjamin Button?!

Can he please get his own spinoff instead of this CRAPPY idizzle:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,465464,00.html

But at least it’s not true:
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b72917_gossip_girl_spinoff_rumors_not_true.html

Funeral Gear:
-Serena is wearing strapless to a funeral?!?!?! Girl, WHAT?! Your boobs know no bounds. This is a UES funeral, not Friday nights at The Plumm. She’s such a beacon of beauty that the more somber the occasion, the more skin she shows!

Bikini Serena
What Serena would wear to an abortion.

-I loved Jenny’s outfit and her bag was HOT. LOOOOVE the huge safety pin. Hawtness! She is a touch goth w/o the Hot Topic factor.

Tim Burton’s daughter.

-I think Eric looks adorable in this episode, but about 11 years old in his coat. He’s like Tiny Tim! “I just lost my stepfather. I don’t want to lose my brother too.” Awwww.

Where is your crutch and Christmas goose, little man?

Best parts of this episode:
-They picked the exact right time to film at Central Park. It looks fucking gorgeous! This is the autumn in New York everyone dreams of. Have not seen NY look like that on TV/film in years. Hooray!!!
-Hilarious how Eleanor feeds Cyrus like a little child. Haha. “Zooooom! Zoom! Here come your capers and onions!”
-I liked that little moment where Nate pointed out how Blair was so sweet and maternal to Chuck at Bart’s wake. I almost forgot that Nate and Blair used to go out!
-Chuck’s dark side – so hot! To Lily: “Don’t touch me, whore!” He looks like a wasted vampire.

Anne Rice’s Chuck Bass.

Grossest moments of this episode:
-I totally don’t buy it that Eleanor and Jenny would just instantly bond over a jacket. Now, that IS shallow.
-When do we see the hilarity of Aaron interacting with his “dad” Wallace Shawn?! WHEN?!?!?! Wearing satin yarmulkes in the same room doesn’t count.
-Who can stand one more of Rufus’ wack acoustic jam sessions: “Nothing feels right when I’m left here on my own….”?!?! Jesus. Take it to Wednesday nights at Spike Hill!

Oh my God, please stop….

Finally, some resolution:
-Why was Lily in the hospital in France?! She killed someone!! She TOTALLY killed someone! Her firstborn child, Serge!
-Blair loves Chuck. Chuck is a dickhead. ARGHGHGHGHGH!!!! Their hug at the end was so beautiful. Catharsis!!!!!!!! But only Cyrus can heal Blair with his elf hug.
-The wedding was beautiful, and Dorota looked like a princess!

IN CONCLUSION:
God, I really hate this asshole.

Aaron = (Vanessa + The Countess)*Georgina ^Cece Vanderwoodsen

Question of the Week:
What happened to Lily and Rufus’ baby?
A) Abortion
B) It died in childbirth
C) It grew up and became Pete Wentz
D) _________________ (write your own)