My 2008 review of la vida comica would incomplete without a post on my fellow NY comedians. Here are some of the favorite people I’ve met over the past year and what I would fucking do to them (but can’t because of two or more barriers).
If I Were Single And These Guys Were Straight…
Baby cub in da wa-tah!
A wizard from da streets is where it's at, son!
…what wouldn’t I do to these guys?! I already collaborate with these talented f***ers, but in an alternate universe, I’d be first in line to cuddle up with these campy – but never trampy – entertainers! Ben Lerman and Soce, the Elemental Wizard are two of the best personalities on the NY comedy/music scene, and I always look forward to their super-tight, super-hilarious, super-true to themselves performances. Ben is as close to a white, male ukulele player version of me as you can get and Soce is a multi-tasking producer and rapper whose freestyle battles skills are beyond compare.
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If I Was a Kleptomaniac And Had More Closet Space, I’d Ravage…
…Shane Webb‘s wardrobe! She’s a true original, though her onstage dervish does remind me a little of Maria Bamford (albeit more kindergarten art teacher than lady-with-shopping cart). She also shares my many color clashing fashion aesthetic, though I think she is slightly more daring than my ass! If you see her around town but aren’t sure that it’s her, just look for a picnic blanket-print bag with a sunny side up egg and bacon smiley face on it!
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If I Had More Time On My Hands And Were A LOT Creepier, I Would Take An Unpaid “Internship” So I Could Follow…
This guy is so good, he scares me.
Is he wearing eyeliner and color contacts, or are they all just gifts from God?!
A genius in more ways than one.
…Kumail Nanjiani, Sean Patton and Sara Benincasa around on alternating days (which would have varying degrees of creepiness because I’ve performed with Kumail but have never met him so he’d be like “Who the hell is this secret admirer chick?”, I’ve met Sean once but never performed with him so he’d be like “Oh yeah, that comedy hanger-on who chatted me up at the bar.”, and I’ve worked quite a bit with Sara on Ultimate Gossip Girl Summit and Family Hour so she’d be like “Um…Kwok, all you had to do was ask…”
There are a lot of great performers on the NY scene that I could theoretically stalk, but I really admire these guys (and lady) for being the creme of the crop of young, original, daring and really effing good comics. Any of these guys have “new” or “off the cuff” material that kicks a lot of people’s “A” material’s ass. It would be criminal if all three didn’t blow up in 2009. I’m convinced that Kumail is a special elf with the power to make anything funny, Sean is an alien sent from a marsh-like planet where they breed people to tell hilarious f***ed up stories, and Sara grew up in a cabbage patch where she was watered with George Carlin’s perspiration and raised in a compost of Paris Hilton’s PR saavy.
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If We Were Ever In The Same Place At The Same Time And I Wasn’t Too Shy, I’d Say Hi To…
…fellow musical comedian Jessica Delfino, whom more than one person has compared me to on more than one occasion. But now I’ve just mucked it all up by writing about her and downloading (then uploading) her picture on my blog. However, it we are so similar we are probably interchangeable, so I can safely assume that we will never be booked on the same show. She is like my Jiwon Lee of the ukulele. Or Jiwon is like my Asian Jessica Delfino. Or something. I’LL NEVER BE FREE!!!