Chuck Bass-terbation

Again, no new GG until 2009 but that doesn’t mean that it’s not on our minds during this holiday season!Right now, especially, our hearts must go out to the hottest orphan on the UES, CHUCK BASS:

Ed Westwick = (Ryan Phillippe+David Caruso)*John Malkovich = Chuck Bass

What truly fascinates me the most is how Chuck consistently rocks the lamest, most flamboyant outfits:

Really? The socks AND the sweater?

The beach equivalent of long johns w/ a cellar door.

When you start matching your lady’s headband, you need to calm the FUCK down.

That tuxedo is one pair of glasses from reaching Elton John status.

Zack Morris was the only other straight male teenager to ever rock patterns as loud as that!

Yet he is still devastatingly sexy!!!

This guy knows how to handle the ladies.

Chuck knows alllllll the tricks.

Baaaad boy!

He and Blair Waldorf are without a doubt the most complex characters on the show (Dan’s introspective blabber and Lily’s craaaazy past have nothing on these guys)!


With the drugs and the chicks and the boozing and the outrageous clothes, all Chuck’s really looking for is love. Validation. He’s searching for himself and his place in the world!!! And he can never truly feel at peace in a world that his mother died bringing him into. The guilt weighs on him every single day and all he can do is escape. ESCAPE!!!

Too late for father and son….

Now he will never be able to find closure with his father However, he has his one true love:

Chuck and Blair!!!

But can he let love into his dark dark heart? Can Chuck Bass be saved?

Question of the Week:
Can Chuck Bass be saved?
A) Yes
B) No
C) Only temporarily, and then he will go back to the dark side
D) Write your own answer

Gossip Girl: Season 2 Awards!

I’m because a) I had to miss the recent Ultimate Gossip Girl Summit III (UGGS3) on Saturday night, and b) this is the first night I’ve been in front of both a computer and a TV on a Monday night at 9pm in weeks, and it’s just a stupidhead rerun tonight!!!

We have to wait until 2009 for a new episode, so I thought I would take this time to reflect on Season 2 in my own miniminiminimini Gossip Girl Summit I (mmmmGGS1).

Creepiest Moment: Nate’s Whoring

With Countess von Sugamamaclientninemilfcougartits.

Corniest Moment: Serena Trying to Strut

Girl, Miss J would rip you to pieces!

Favorite Moment: Catfight!

“Stupid…headband!!!”

Worst Blair Outfit: Post-Yale

Junior high art teacher Barbie or a middle-aged Upper West Side Woman going to a mixer at the JCC or Ugly Betty as a skinny white girl.

Worst Serena Outfit: Um…No THANK you!

People get kicked off Project Runway for shit like this.

Best Serena Outfit: Keeping it Simple

So pretty – and with no boobs hanging out!

Best Blair Outfit: Summer Princess

What a cutie!

Favorite Outfit: Jenny!!!

Her other outfits still sucks, but she knocked it outta the ballpark with this one!

Most Annoying Character: Aaron

Please get outta my face.

Lifetime Achievement Award: Cyrus

WALLACE SHAWN IS LIKE LIBERTY AND SALT – THERE SHOULD BE A LITTLE BIT OF HIM IN EVERYTHING!!!

Gossip Girl: Ding Dong, The Bart is Dead!

Yeahhhh, more Wallace Shawn!!! “…in the midst of death, we are in life!” Wow…

EVERYONE loves this guy!

And finally, a Jew on the UES! Plus, the marriage to Eleanor only seals his future guest stardom – yeehaw!!!

Like a small babe: Is Wallace Shawn the real-life Benjamin Button?!

Can he please get his own spinoff instead of this CRAPPY idizzle:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,465464,00.html

But at least it’s not true:
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b72917_gossip_girl_spinoff_rumors_not_true.html

Funeral Gear:
-Serena is wearing strapless to a funeral?!?!?! Girl, WHAT?! Your boobs know no bounds. This is a UES funeral, not Friday nights at The Plumm. She’s such a beacon of beauty that the more somber the occasion, the more skin she shows!

What Serena would wear to an abortion.

-I loved Jenny’s outfit and her bag was HOT. LOOOOVE the huge safety pin. Hawtness! She is a touch goth w/o the Hot Topic factor.

Tim Burton’s daughter.

-I think Eric looks adorable in this episode, but about 11 years old in his coat. He’s like Tiny Tim! “I just lost my stepfather. I don’t want to lose my brother too.” Awwww.

Where is your crutch and Christmas goose, little man?

Best parts of this episode:
-They picked the exact right time to film at Central Park. It looks fucking gorgeous! This is the autumn in New York everyone dreams of. Have not seen NY look like that on TV/film in years. Hooray!!!
-Hilarious how Eleanor feeds Cyrus like a little child. Haha. “Zooooom! Zoom! Here come your capers and onions!”
-I liked that little moment where Nate pointed out how Blair was so sweet and maternal to Chuck at Bart’s wake. I almost forgot that Nate and Blair used to go out!
-Chuck’s dark side – so hot! To Lily: “Don’t touch me, whore!” He looks like a wasted vampire.

Anne Rice’s Chuck Bass.

Grossest moments of this episode:
-I totally don’t buy it that Eleanor and Jenny would just instantly bond over a jacket. Now, that IS shallow.
-When do we see the hilarity of Aaron interacting with his “dad” Wallace Shawn?! WHEN?!?!?! Wearing satin yarmulkes in the same room doesn’t count.
-Who can stand one more of Rufus’ wack acoustic jam sessions: “Nothing feels right when I’m left here on my own….”?!?! Jesus. Take it to Wednesday nights at Spike Hill!

Oh my God, please stop….

Finally, some resolution:
-Why was Lily in the hospital in France?! She killed someone!! She TOTALLY killed someone! Her firstborn child, Serge!
-Blair loves Chuck. Chuck is a dickhead. ARGHGHGHGHGH!!!! Their hug at the end was so beautiful. Catharsis!!!!!!!! But only Cyrus can heal Blair with his elf hug.
-The wedding was beautiful, and Dorota looked like a princess!

IN CONCLUSION:
God, I really hate this asshole.

Aaron = (Vanessa + The Countess)*Georgina ^Cece Vanderwoodsen

Question of the Week:
What happened to Lily and Rufus’ baby?
A) Abortion
B) It died in childbirth
C) It grew up and became Pete Wentz
D) _________________ (write your own)