Kwokulele: Secret Uke Recordings

Awhile ago I secretly recorded these songs with my friend soce, the elemental wizard.

Now they’re here for you to enjoy!

Click to stream or right click and “Save as” to download!

  1. Funny Fat Girl (censored!)
  2. I Don’t Think About Dying
  3. Who Needs a Dream?
  4. Desert to the Sea
  5. No Matter How Hard You Try (plugged!) (NSFW!)

Thanks for listening!

New Music Video – DATE AN ASIAN

My new music video, Date an Asian, is a hot (and hilarious) R&B joint about dating Asian men.

Here it is:

After fun ass day of shooting and a star studded live premiere at Sulu Series, this video is ready for all the world to see!!!

We hope that you enjoy it, and please please please help promote it!!!

HELP PROMOTE DATE AN ASIAN:
1. Email this vid to all your peeps, groups and listservs:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG9vYZmoqmg
2. Post the video link to facebook, Twitter, MySpace, tumblr, blogs, etc!
3. Embed the video wherever you can!
4. “Favorite”, share, leave comments, “thumb up” on YouTube!
5. Stream the video on a laptop strapped to your chest!

Asian men are finally gettin’ their due, so please spread the love!!!

http://www.dateanasian.net (designed by the lovely Donna Kwok).

Thank you to everyone who helped make this video happen!

<3
Jen

A Horribly Productive/Destructive Weekend!

My dear Tommy went back home to Staten Island for the weekend, and I was left to my own devices.

Friday Night:
Stayed home to nurse the contrails of my never-ending flu from last weekend.  I ended up drinking about six servings of miso soup, while watching the following:  five hours of Bravo (split between Real Housewives of Atlanta and Las Vegas Taxi Cab Confessions), an episode of Amazing Wedding Cakes, an episode of Bridezillas, Gwyneth Paltrow’s View from the Top, and a horrible Lifetime movie about a Mormon love quadrilateral starring Jennie Garth called A Loss of Innocence.

http://fashionindie.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/259405jennie-garth-posters.jpg

Oh Jenny....

So basically, I drank two gallons of salt water and had estrogen pumped through the television, into my eyeballs.  It was horrible.  I might as well have cut myself or eaten a quart of Rocky Road Ice Cream while dressing up my Barbie doll collection.  I literally watched TV for 9 hours.  It started at 7pm and lasted until 4am.  WHAT KIND OF FREAK AM I?!?!

Saturday:
Went to brunch with Adina in the East Village, wandered around Urban Outfitters, and picked up my books on reserve from Greenpoint Library.  And you know what?  It turns out there’s another Jennifer Kwok who goes to my branch!  I know this because I certainly did not order a Japanese manga written in Japanese with no pictures in it (seriously, what is that? )!  Then I went home and started reading my actual somehow-in-my-mind-less-dorkier book choice, The Golden Compass.  Then, realizing that I probably shouldn’t have ANY more miso for the rest of my life because I had consumed about 12,000 grams of sodium the night before, I decided to order in a Papacitos fish burrito.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/364590052_ccc83c84f4.jpg

FISH!!!

I ate this while watching Kubrick’s Lolita and marveling at the great acting – Peter Sellers rocks it in this movie (and James Mason and Shelly Winters are no schlubs either). After the movie, I fulfilled my weeklong craving for Haagen Daaz and bought a pint of Bailey’s flavored ice cream at my local pseudo-gourmet grocery market.  I went to bed EARLY – like 9pm, after Friday night’s fiasco.

Sunday:
Woke up relatively early after 12 hours’ sleep and started going through emails.  I grabbed a shower, ran some errands at Rite Aid (where they already have Halloween stuff up, BTW – horrifying!!!!) and bought a couple donuts and coffee from Peter Pan’s, which is now infamous for its Donut Ice Cream Sandwiches.  Got back home and edited/practiced my verse for “Trapped in a Dungeon”, a guest-rap-laden song by my buddy Soce, The Elemental Wizard.  Then I wrote and practiced my rap verse of a song we’re doing together, “Ride the Bus”, which will be released as a B-side to my single (also produced by and featuring Soce), “Date an Asian”.

After all that musical mayhem, I made some No Pudge Brownies and cleaned the house before my Tommy came home (it’s all the Mad Men watching that’s got me acting like robo-live-in-girlfriend).

http://theskinnyplate.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/nopudge.jpg?w=300&h=300

No effing PUDGE - that's what I said!

Actually, the brownies were for my former boss, who is letting us stay at her house during our vacation, and Soce, who is hard at work producing all these awesome tracks!  I headed over to Manhattan (going from the G to the 7 because there is no service to Manhattan from 23-Ely Ave for the fourth weekend in a row) and met with my former boss to grab keys, directions, etc.  Then I headed downtown to record my rhymes with Soce.

Continuing with the self abuse, I came home not having eaten any dinner – BUT buying a goddamn Van Leeuwen ice cream while waiting for the bus on Bedford Ave.  WHY?!?!?!?!  Ugh, that ice cream is so good it’s hard for me to eat other ice cream now….  It didn’t melt once while I was waiting 15 minutes for that bus – not a square millimeter of it.  It’s perfect!!!!

http://www.snackish.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/van_leeuwen_ice_cream_truck.jpg

Stupid Van Leeuwen, you hurt so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, I got home and found my dear Tommy there, uploading a ton of pictures of his weekend at home, along with adorable 10 second videos of his dog running around and drinking water – videos that, BTW, would probably get more YouTube hits than all my videos combined!

It was nice to be kind of left alone this weekend, but between the miso/ice cream diet and 9-hour lady film festival, I really don’t think I’d last very long.  However, it was superfun to indulge, and I was glad to channel my inner rap star and try a new outlet for my creativity.

And now, for whatever reason, I can’t seem to go to bed just yet.  But…a girl has to try.

Good night!

Date an Asian – AWESOMENESS Recapped!

The “Date an Asian” music video premiere last night at Sulu Series was AWESOME!!!

The evening started off with amazing spoken word/poetry from Jenny C. Lares, Simone Jacobson and special guest Marco Mercado.

Marco Mercado

Supercool band Paperdoll also rocked the house with some original songs – and a fantastic cover of A-Ha!

We rolled into the music video premiere, which elicited a lot of positive responses – from laughter to “awws” to people genuinely being touched by the tribute to Asian guys, it was amazing to see such great reactions to a project that has been in the works for almost a year.

After the video premiered, we had had a bunch of great performances from the guys of “Date an Asian”, who are some of NY’s top Asian male performers:

YouJean Chang got the crowd going with his hilarious, racially charged humor.

Air Tabigue did a bunch of amazing new material after literally hopping off a plane from Vegas to make the show – what a guy!

Air Tabigue

Comedy improv group Asian Flush also had its world premiere last night!  The all-Asian, all-dude group consists of:  Joel Arandia, Keith Huang, Roy Koshy, Binu Paulose, Nikhil Rao, and Jamaal Sedayao.

Narinder Singh kept the crowd going with his cunning one-liners, which I dubbed “non-Sikh-uiturs”, teehee!

Narinder Singh

Phil Nee, the Godfather of Asian Comedy (who plays my dad in the video!), totally lived up to his name and  annihilated the crowd with his set.

Finally, The Part-Time Models dance crew brought down the house for the grand finale!!!

All in all, it was such a great night, and I want to thank everyone again for making “Date an Asian” possible.  The song and music video were a TON of fun to make, and it’s such a damn thrill to finally have it out in the world!

Moi

Also, a massive shoutout to the Sulu and Bowery Poetry Club crew:  mucho thanks to Taiyo Na for giving a home to Asian American artists – Sulu Series coming up on 5 years!!!  Thank you to DJ Boo for manning the turntables, Nick for teching up a storm, and the lovely Diane O’Debra for keeping us well hydrated.

Look for the video in the coming days, very soon!!!

AND, if you have a hankering for a LIVE performance of “Date an Asian” with myself and Soce, come to K-Date on Thurs, 8/20 at Comix!  Click on “Shows” for full details about this hit Asian matchmaking show!!!

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DATE AN ASIAN PREMIERE AUGUST 16 AT BOWERY POETRY CLUB!!!

Date an Asian will be rockin’ the Sulu Series with live performances from several of the Asian hotties featured in the video, culminating in the premiere of the music video on a rather large screen!

DATE AN ASIAN PREMIERE!!!
Sun, Aug 16 at 8pm
Sulu Series
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery Street (Between Houston and Bleecker)
$8/$5 w/ student ID
http://myspace.com/suluser ies

Live premiere of the “Date an Asian” music video by Jen Kwok, featuring Soce The Elemental Wizard and directed by Ballard Boyd.

Featuring stand-up performances from: Narinder Singh, Eugene Chang, Tommy Hudson and Phil Nee. Featuring improv from Keith Huang, Jamaal Sedayao, Binu Paulose, Joel Arandia and Roy Koshy. Plus dance crew Part-Time Models!

Sulu Series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! It’s tha la bomba.
Yo, Jen and Soce be spittin’ mad…stuff…about doin’ Asian guys…which is not weird at all…or at least it won’t be, after this video comes out!!!!
Part-Time Models are fan-fricking-tastic!
This is Fred Chao. Do you know him? No? Well, you’ll want to now…. ;)

Also, for those of you who are interested (AND SINGLE!!!), Soce and I are performing Date an Asian live at Comix next Thursday night at a HAWT Asian dating/comedy show:
Single Asians, come meet your match!!! Or just get hammered and laugh your ass off.

K-DATE COMIX
Thurs, Aug 20 at 9:30pm
Comix
353 W 14th St (at 9th Ave)
$15 online, $20 at the door
www.comixny.com

The one and only matchmaking comedy show! Comics perform, then pair up members of the audience! Hosted by funny and fabulously talented comedian Helen Hong! The hit show regularly sells out the 120+ seat Comix main stage, and was just featured in The New York Times.

Photos by Keith Huang
Sulu Flyer by DJ Boo

How Much I Love This Soce Guy!

Many of you must know that one of my most frequent collaborators and best buds in music/comedy is this dude, Soce, The Elemental Wizard.

soce

Soce is a gay Jewish MC who straddles the music and comedy worlds, and produced and raps on my song, Date an Asian.  Not only does he perform a billion nights per week, but this dude also holds down a 9-to-5 and contributes to several reputable industry blogs, including The Apiary and City Scoops.  Seriously, how does he do it?!

Because this guy is excellent for so very many reasons!!!  I was just at the CD release party for his third album, which completely solidified what an original performer he is.  Not only is he so creative, but he’s also got tons and tons of energy to spare – plus he’s really one of the nicest guys ever (who else brings Odwalla carrot juice to a party?!)!  He’s been such a good friend throughout my journey in NY comedy, and has pep talked me out of many corners with his wisdom and positive outlook.

At any rate, I hope that you guys will check him out – here’s his latest music video, “They Call Me” and his new CD, Master of Fine Arts, is available for purchase online:

“Date an Asian” Video Shoot This Past Weekend!

The music video for my song, “Date an Asian”, was shot this weekend, July 11 in Greenpoint, BK!


Myself, Ballard Boyd (Director) and Soce The Elemental Wizard (Song Producer/Rapper)

It took place at Coco66 with a cast and crew of 40+ people!


Coco66 was invaded by a bunch of Asian dudes!!!

This was my first time producing a project on this scale, and it far exceeded all my expectations!  Lights!  Breakdancers from Part-Time Models!  Lip syncing to a 2x Chipmunks recording!!!


Soce with the Part-Time Models!



Me & my girls!!!

Thank you to everyone who made it happen!  The video will be coming out very soon, with a screening/premiere/party at Sulu Series.

Special thanks to Jason Li for these photos.

CALLING ALL ASIAN MEN TO BE IN MY MUSIC VIDEO!!!

OK, so I wrote this song called “Date an Asian”, which is all about the merits of dating an Asian guy, and I need LOTS of Asian dudes to be in it! So seriously, calling ALL Asian men!!!

Project: “Date an Asian” Music Video
Shoot Dates: July 11-12 (Sat-Sun)
Location: Greenpoint, BK

Description: “Date an Asian” is a comedic R&B song that extols the awesomeness of “dating” an Asian guy. We are looking for a wide variety of Asian/Pacific Islander guys to be in this video.

Written and Performed by Jen Kwok (NBC Stand-Up for Diversity, CNN)
Produced by and Featuring Soce, The Elemental Wizard
(MTV, Sirius)*
Directed by Ballard Boyd
(Logo, Collegehumor.com)*

*check out these guys’ websites at the links to your right

If you are interested in being in the “Date an Asian” music video, please hit me back at dateanasian@gmail.com with the following info:
1. Name
2. Email Address
3. Phone Number
4. Availability for July 11-12
5. Your websites, picture and any “special skills” you may have: dancing, martial arts, skateboarding, great abs – ANYTHING that a girl (or guy) might find impressive

This is an unpaid project, but a true labor of love. One reason why I became a performer was to squash wack Asian stereotypes. Asian dudes have been the butt of jokes for way too long, and this is my little love letter to spread the message that ya’ll are SEXY!!!!! ;)

Please pass this casting message along to friends and family in the NY area who may be interested.

Thank you for your time and support, and hope to see you on the set!

<3 Jen
dateanasian@gmail.com


Awwwww yeah!!!

Britney Spears Circus Parody: BREAKFAST

MY BRITNEY SPEARS PARODY IS HERE!!!!!!

Thank you to all the amazing people who made this possible and fun as HELL!!!

This parody was written on ukulele while I was home for the holidays. Eric and I recorded three days after I got back to New York. We filmed it a week later (this past weekend) and Eric edited it in a night (actually, a few HOURS). It’s our little New Year’s baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please share with friends – we want this thing to go viral and EVERY little bit helps!

HELP PROMOTE JEN’S VIDEO:

1. LEAVE COMMENTS ON YOUTUBE!
Rate the video five stars, favorite it and “thumbs up/down” other comments. This will boost our rankings on YouTube tremendously!

2. EMAIL TO FRIENDS!
Even if you send it to five friends you think might like it, this will help!

3. POST ON SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES: Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Digg, Stumbleupon, Tumblr

4. LEAVE COMMENTS ON OTHER BRITNEY-RELATED YOUTUBE VIDEOS

6. POST ON BRITNEY WEB FORUMS
(Just Google “Britney Spears forum” – there are tons!)

BREAKFAST
(Britney Spears Circus Parody)

Written, Performed, & Directed by
Jen Kwok

Produced & Edited by
Eric Fortin

Filmed by
Jen Kwok
Juliet Jeske
Tom Huth
Gary Mahmoud

Featuring
Paul Bauer
Chewy Chiu
Selena Coppock
Julie Ann Dulude
Leslie Goshko
Lisa Ha
Justin Hoch
Tom Huth
Maggie LeVine (make sure this is capitalized like this)
Elizabeth Lewis
Gary Mahmoud
Theresa Rodriguez
Andrew Singer

Thank you to everyone for your support!

Jen’s 2008 Review: My Fellow Comedians and What I Would Do To Them

My 2008 review of la vida comica would incomplete without a post on my fellow NY comedians. Here are some of the favorite people I’ve met over the past year and what I would fucking do to them (but can’t because of two or more barriers).


If I Were Single And These Guys Were Straight…

Sexy cub in da wa-tah!

Baby cub in da wa-tah!

A wizard from da streets is where it's at, son!

A wizard from da streets is where it's at, son!

…what wouldn’t I do to these guys?!  I already collaborate with these talented f***ers, but in an alternate universe, I’d be first in line to cuddle up with these campy – but never trampy – entertainers!  Ben Lerman and Soce, the Elemental Wizard are two of the best personalities on the NY comedy/music scene, and I always look forward to their super-tight, super-hilarious, super-true to themselves performances.  Ben is as close to a white, male ukulele player version of me as you can get and Soce is a multi-tasking producer and rapper whose freestyle battles skills are beyond compare.

. ……. … .. …. ….

If I Was a Kleptomaniac And Had More Closet Space, I’d Ravage…

Funky Coolster!

Funky Coolster!

Shane Webb‘s wardrobe!  She’s a true original, though her onstage dervish does remind me a little of Maria Bamford (albeit more kindergarten art teacher than lady-with-shopping cart).  She also shares my many color clashing fashion aesthetic, though I think she is slightly more daring than my ass!  If you see her around town but aren’t sure that it’s her, just look for a picnic blanket-print bag with a sunny side up egg and bacon smiley face on it!

. ……. … .. …. ….

If I Had More Time On My Hands And Were A LOT Creepier, I Would Take An Unpaid “Internship” So I Could Follow…

This guy is so good, he scares me.

This guy is so good, he scares me.

Is he wearing eyeliner, or is that definition a blessing from God?!

Is he wearing eyeliner and color contacts, or are they all just gifts from God?!

A genius in more ways than one.

A genius in more ways than one.

Kumail Nanjiani, Sean Patton and Sara Benincasa around on alternating days (which would have varying degrees of creepiness because I’ve performed with Kumail but have never met him so he’d be like “Who the hell is this secret admirer chick?”, I’ve met Sean once but never performed with him so he’d be like “Oh yeah, that comedy hanger-on who chatted me up at the bar.”, and I’ve worked quite a bit with Sara on Ultimate Gossip Girl Summit and Family Hour so she’d be like “Um…Kwok, all you had to do was ask…”

There are a lot of great performers on the NY scene that I could theoretically stalk, but I really admire these guys (and lady) for being the creme of the crop of young, original, daring and really effing good comics.  Any of these guys have “new” or “off the cuff” material that kicks a lot of people’s “A” material’s ass.  It would be criminal if all three didn’t blow up in 2009.  I’m convinced that Kumail is a special elf with the power to make anything funny, Sean is an alien sent from a marsh-like planet where they breed people to tell hilarious f***ed up stories, and Sara grew up in a cabbage patch where she was watered with George Carlin’s perspiration and raised in a compost of Paris Hilton’s PR saavy.

. ……. … .. …. ….

If We Were Ever In The Same Place At The Same Time And I Wasn’t Too Shy, I’d Say Hi To…

Hello...?

Hello...?

…fellow musical comedian Jessica Delfino, whom more than one person has compared me to on more than one occasion.  But now I’ve just mucked it all up by writing about her and downloading (then uploading) her picture on my blog.  However, it we are so similar we are probably interchangeable, so I can safely assume that we will never be booked on the same show.  She is like my Jiwon Lee of the ukulele.  Or Jiwon is like my Asian Jessica Delfino.  Or something.  I’LL NEVER BE FREE!!!