OK, so I missed Episode 3 (aired 12/22) because I was at home in CA, where my parents don’t have DVR – whaaat?! I couldn’t find a legit version of the full episode online until NBC finally put it up like, yesterday. AND I missed Episode 4 (aired 1/5) because Superstars of Dance was on, and I didn’t think that there was going to be a Momma’s Boys this week. I’ll put Episode 4 up later, but for now….
Momma’s Boys Episode 3:
A huge David Blaine prop-looking plexi-glass box is delivered to the mansion. Inside were files on each of the girls – including Erica’s Biblical (in length and content) collection of naughty “adult” photo shoots. So what to do? If you are a classy Momma’s Boys contestant, CONFESS THAT YOU WERE IN PLAYBOY. That’s right! No less than three girls were in Playboy: Brittany Fuchs, Stacy Fuson and Meghan Allen. Not to mention Ms. Erica Ellyson, who was in Penthouse (although her file was never seen by the moms). Just Google these girls. I won’t put any links to the photos here because there are SIMPLY TOO MANY. I’ll let you explore on your own. Don’t want to limit your enjoyment. Personally, I think that Brittany is the hottest and she has a bodacious booty (hilariously referred to by Mrs. B as “junk in the trunk). Maybe when this is over, all the girls can do a spread together – just a thought!
Although everyone is freaked out by the psychotic Cara (we’ll get to that later), I find Michelle Kopasz to be the most hilarious contestant. This is the plastic surgery chick who has had botox and two boob jobs by the age of 25 to “preserve” herself. She also has about $138,000 in debt. HOLY shit! How does it get that far? Maybe you should cut back on the shopping sprees after you hit…I dunno, five digits?! She was also a failed contestant on Paris Hilton’s BFF show. Truly a fame chasing hoochie.
In this episode, we are also treated to more of Mrs. B’s hypocrisy. In a cooking challenge, they girls have to choose which mom to cook with (or cook their own “wild card” dish). EVERYONE gravitated towards Lorraine and Esther (and in the creepiest moment on the show, her son Rob blew on her neck while she was cooking to cool her down. Whaaaa…??? ). Mrs. B is left out in the cold and she starts freaking crying and threatening to leave because she’s offended that the girls are rejecting their Middle Eastern culture. Or maybe they are just rejecting your bitchy racist ass!!! And plus, the girls not choosing your dish is nothing – NOTHING – compared to saying that you don’t want a Black, Asian or Jewish daughter-in-law!
However, despite the racism, there IS someone on this show who is crazier than Mrs. B: Cara (and if Mrs. B is trying to calm YOU down, that means you are damn crazy). When Cara gets a “No” text at elimination, she goes ballistic and yells at the producers to get the cameras out of her face, etc. In her grand exit speech, she sums it up with funeral-level tears, crazy eyes and these words: “I didn’t even get a date!!! I did this all for nothing!!! I came here to date!!!” BRILLIANT!
HOWEVER, absolutely none of this compared to THE funniest moment of the show: Maisha’s breakdown when Brittany was eliminated. If anyone can find this online, please link it in the comments. That shit was HILARIOUS. Maisha is hysterically crying/wailing and practically falling down the stairs in her high heels when she sees Brittany go. Major Miss Americ-style freak out!!!