My Tiger Mom And Me Contest

Submit your story about your tiger mom for a chance to get published and win a cash prize!!!  http://www.mytigermomandme.com/

THE CONTEST

Hyperink is now accepting submissions for their My Tiger Mom & Me contest. We’re looking for stories about real Tiger Moms.

We’ll include the 10 best entries in our upcoming anthology. All accepted authors will receive a byline and a free copy of the book.

(Don’t know what a Tiger Mom is? Click here for some background information.)

CASH PRIZES:

First Place: $500

Second Place: $300

Third Place: $200

The 3 winning authors will also receive consideration for a book deal with Hyperink, a cutting edge digital publisher.

DEADLINE: July 29, 2011

We’ll list the winners on our site and notify them via email on August 19, 2011.

GUIDELINES:

  • This contest is open to all writers, published or unpublished.
  • Submissions should not exceed 5,000 words
  • You may submit multiple stories for consideration.
  • We accept submissions in doc, docx, pdf, and rtf formats.
  • Due to the sensitive nature of this subject material, you are welcome to use a pen name.

The Hyperink publishing team will read and judge every entry. All decisions on winning entries are final.

Email your submission to contest@hyperinkpress.com or submit through the form below. Include your full name, pen name (if applicable) and tell us a little bit about yourself.”

Asian American Writers Workshop: MOM MIC!

Mouth to Mouth: MOM MIC
Friday, July 15, 2011, 8PM

In response to the recent media coverage about Amy Chua’s polarizing Tiger Mom, Mouth to Mouth: MOM MIC will feature the real stories and voices of Asian American moms. Blending comedy, spoken word, hip hop, and stand-up from Kate Rigg, who Bust Magazine calls “hell bent on exploding Asian stereotypes,” will have you out of your seat, and actress, writer, and mom Natalie Kim will entertain you with selections from her solo comedy show.

Come early to sign-up to share your own mom-inspired stories. Whether you are a mother, have a mother, know a mother — we want to hear from you! Free admission if you are a mom (or if you bring your mama)! Stay-tuned for details about the second installment of Mouth to Mouth: MOM MIC, taking place on August 12 (Thursday).


Kate Rigg is the iconoclasic amerasian culture vulture and lead singer for Slanty Eyed Mama.  Artist in residence at the Smithsonian Institute, Comedy Central Theater and the Mark Taper Forum has made a career with a mix
of stand up comedy, spoken word and potty mouth political rants
focused on pop culture represent-Asian.


Actress and writer Natalie Kim was born in Harlem, New York and raised in Centereach, New York. Her credits include HBO’s Bored to Death, independent film West 32nd Street, and Law and Order: Criminal Intent. Recently, Natalie completed a successful run of her solo show, YO GIRL! at 59e59 Street Theater and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. She just wrapped SuperTwins!, a comedic web series about fraternal twin superheros, which also stars Trevor Zhou.

This program is funded by the Asian Women Giving Circle.

@The Asian American Writers’ Workshop
110-112 West 27th Street, 6th Floor
Between 6th and 7th Avenues
Buzzer 600

open to the public
$5 suggested donation
free admission if you are a mom or bring your mom

click here for the facebook event!

Tiger Mom Rap!

That’s right – this is what Amy Chua would be rapping about if she were to use hip hop to express her views on extreme Asian parenting.

Listen to/Download the Tiger Mom mp3 for FREE:
Jen Kwok – Tiger Mom Rap (2:38)

Written/performed by Jen Kwok.  Produced by soce, the elemental wizard

UPDATE:  If anyone wants to make a YouTube video of Tiger Mom Rap! (i.e. lyric, sideshow, lip sync, etc.), you have my blessing.  Just please send me the link and give proper credit to myself/producer and link back to my website.  In return, I will send you Jen Kwok pins, pens and something handmade ;)  jenkwokfunnygirl[at]gmail.com

Tiger Mom Rap Lyrics
by Jen Kwok

Ungh.  Rarr.  Ungh.  Rarr.

Yo, I’m the tiger mother
Hardcore parenting like no other
But I’m also a professor at Yale
And I got a crazy ass new book on sale
Talkin bout how Chinese mothers are superior
Rest of ya’ll with Montessori are inferior
I don’t allow sleepovers or play dates
My kid’s have fun doing math on a milk crate

Cuz they’re gonna be tough!  So tough!  After they have been broke down emotionally first.

Chorus:
Let me tell you bout my battle hymn
Piano violin piano violin
Extreme Asian parenting

I raise my kids to be high achievers
Building on their minds all the time like beavers
Cuz DAMN my kids never get less than 100 on a test
If they did I would flip the f*** out
So I found the key to perfection is assimilation
Don’t let my daughters out the house so life’s a simulation
Now I’m selling my techniques like a corporation
And I’m married to a guy named Jed!!!

Chorus:
Let me tell you bout my battle hymn
Piano violin piano violin
Extreme Asian parenting

Hippie western parents are ok with a B-minus
Mediocrity is like the blanket on Linus
I ripped up the birthday card you gave to me
Cuz it’s more Hallmark than Papyrus
I want my kids to feel like Rocky – “Adrian!”
But first they gotta feel like Gollum  – “Precious!”
Practice a billion times till you get this
If you’re not perfect you will get an eye infection

So you better keep practicing.  Better get perfect.  Or else…you will turn into garbage. A large garbage can.  They’re gonna pick you up on Sunday and Tuesday nights unless there’s a holiday and you’ll be living at the landfill like Oscar the Grouch.

Gladwell says it takes 10,000 hours to be good
Well I say 500 bajillion 74 to the pi times infiniti divided – no, not divided….

Chorus:
Let me tell you bout my battle hymn
Piano violin piano violin
Harvard, Columbia and Princeton
Piano violin piano violin
I’ve got to make perfect children
Extreme Asian parenting

I’m crazier than all the other moms
Crazier than Natalie Portman’s mom in Black Swan
Barbara Hershey!!!!!  She was so powerful in Beaches
I’m crazier than Joan Crawford
No wire hangers? No wire hangers? No WOODEN hangers!  No plastic hangers!
No titanium!  Or crochet!
I only like these velvet ones I got from Crate & Barrel

©Jen Kwok 2011